journey to Bethlehem.

Every Wednesday night, I spend an hour and half with 15-20 Jr High aged youth. They are loud, energetic, funny, and so fun to be around. But, as anyone who works with this age group knows, they often make me very tired. And while I know they had fun, I'm not always entirely sure if they connected with God.

As youth group ends, I look around the fellowship hall where we meet and it looks like a tornado has gone through... whatever snack we shared and activities we've done, have somehow exploded into every inch of the space. I sigh, and know as tired as I am, it's going to be at least a half hour of clean up.

The thing about all this is, that despite their energy sapping wildness and the trail of mess that they leave behind, my kids amaze me. The way they love each other, the way they laugh together, and the way they see God, opens up my heart in unexplainable ways. I realize that I have become so "adult" in my spirituality that I forgot that church shouldn't just be deep, it should be fun. That God is never boring or neat, but explosive and imaginative.

But more than any of this, my kids show me the simplicity of loving God. They enter into their relationship with God with such openness and honesty. They love and trust so wholly, but never fear asking questions. One of the simple joys of my Wednesday nights is that when I'm cleaning up the mess, I also get to look at their prayers, pictures and reflections that they leave behind.

Last night one of the activities we did was a journey to Bethlehem. A few students at a time went into a candle lit space where there were several stations for prayer and reflection. At each station there was a short scripture about one of the characters in the Christmas story, and an invitation to imagine what it was like to be that person through some reflective questions. They entered into the story with such authenticity and imagination. Their post-it reflections helped the Christmas story come alive for me in a whole new way. Here's some of what they wrote down:

Imagine you are a wise man: "I would feel weird following a star, and scared. But it would be amazing when I saw Jesus." "I would be so happy."

Imagine you are a Shepherd: "I would be frightened, but curious." "I might be disappointed that it was a baby, but I would be hopeful too." "I would wonder what the heck is going on." "I'd be happy to tell other people about the good news." "I would tell everyone about it."

Imagine you are the angel: "I would be happy and maybe joyful to spread God's word. i would be excited, and feel kind of powerful [because] delivering God's word helps people know about what is happening. I wouldn't be worried that people won't believe me, because it needs to happen and it is joyful to deliver God's word." "I would be scared what people would say about it and afraid of doubt." "I would feel good spreading the word and I would be excited. " "I wouldn't worry about anything because of God's power." "I would be excited to tell people the joyful news but worried to see if they would believe me."

Imagine you are baby Jesus: "It would be scary, but excited. I would feel cold and see cows and birds around me. I'd be happy and thankful to be with my mom. I'd feel proud that God sent me and I would want to grow up and help all people." "I would be happy and excited that God sent me to be the Light of the World." "I would feel vulnerable and comforted." "I would feel small, sad and scared." "I would feel cold from the wind and hear the animals making noises."

Imagine you are Mary: "I would feel hopeful and amazed." "I would be happy." "I would be scared and happy, nervous and joyful." "So happy."

Imagine you are Joseph: "I would be mad and weirded out when Mary got pregnant." "I would be disappointed and angry." "When the angel told me that the baby came from God I would feel awkward." "When Jesus is born I would be happy and excited." "I would be nervous and hopeful."

These simple reflections reminded me that Christmas isn't just an old story, but something that lives in us. It has real, vivid emotions, and expectations and hopes and fears and loss... all of which we still experience in our own lives. And yet with all these mixed emotions, we are still called to journey forward, to worship, to trust, and to share this amazing story with the world.

Another activity we did was this mosiac icon of the Mother Mary and Christ Child made out of advertisements (pictures above). I stole the idea from here - I think it's a great idea if you happen to be looking for a fun and easy art project for a group at your church. Ours doesn't look quite as good or as clear as I'd hope, and my youth got bored with it a little quicker than I'd expected (warning - it takes a long time, especially if Jr High boys are involved). But in the end they were excited about the end result and being able to see it turn into something, and I was happy that they transformed consumerism into something beautiful together.

I hope you are all getting to experience Advent in new ways this year. I love this season... it's such an amazing time to see the world through the eyes of a child: with love, hope, joy and imagination.

opening.

I went to a writing workshop last Saturday. It was taught my the lovely and inspiring Jane Hirshfield. If you aren't familiar with her work, check it out. "This was once a love poem" is a favorite of mine.

The workshop involved developing first lines that don't just open up a poem or essay, but open the possibility of many directions. It reminded me how much I crave to be playful and creative. How my soul longs to pour out images, without summarizing or boiling down or analyzing. Sometimes we just need to let ourselves be creative without purpose, just to see what comes out.

Here's one of the lines that came out of my writing at the workshop:

"A mound of wet clay contains within itself an infinite number of possible becomings, but its beginnings are always the same: dark, sloppy, and of the earth."

sexist much?

Please watch this (especially the part that starts at 1:54) and tell me you share my rage:




An open letter to Mark Driscoll:

I find this offensive on so many levels, I don't know where to begin. The idea that the church is in decline because it is "chicafied" is completely outrageous. Most pastors are men. Most worship services are shaped by men. Blaming it on "femininity" is not only offensive, but illogical. Secondly, being manly has nothing to do with hairy chests, and slaying other men in pools of their own blood. I like how you talk about David as this macho man, but conveniently leave out his passion for music, poetry and dance, and focus only on brashness, brute strength and violence as though that is what made him innovative. We do need innovators in the church. We also need men, just as much as we need women. But having a penis has nothing to do with being innovative. And there are incredibly creative voices (both men and women) who are being stifled in churches everywhere based on assumptions such as the ones you clearly are making about what it means to be manly or to be feminine. As a woman who is called to ordination, innovative worship and ultimately, I believe, church planting, I am so deeply disappointed that you, one of the dominant voices of the Christian church, would be so insensitive to such important gender issues and would make such broad generalizations. We need young innovators in the church, without a doubt, but stereotyping is not the way to do it. I find it difficult to articulate just how angry and disappointed I am that this is the kind of "creative innovation" that is being spoken into the Christian Church. This is good old-fashioned sexism at its worst. Please stop spouting your anti-female rhetoric in Christ's name.