last stand.

So, this year it seemed to many of us, the super bowl's adds were particularly sexist. These commercials portrayed men as macho, truck driving, violent, stupid neanderthals and women as bitchy, uptight, nagging shrews. Neither image is particularly flattering, and I find these stereotypes to be neither useful or funny.

Two assumptions I think advertisers ought to rethink are these 1) only men watch the superbowl. 2) men secretly hate their wives and girlfriends. The first, is obviously not true. This year's superbowl was the most watched television program in history, and included an audience made up of both women and men across the country and various age brackets. So, by attempting to advertise to just men, they missed out on more than half of their potential market. The second assumption, I have to hope and pray is not true. I just can't believe that most men hate women. I think they actually like women, and want to be with their wives or girlfriends, which is why they date and/or marry them. So, I am left not simply offended, but perplexed. Who do these adds appeal to and why?

For me, the winner of most offensive/sexist add goes to this gem from Dodge:

However, I am very pleased with this women's response to the orginal add, which is delightful. Now, hear me out: I do not hate men. But I do think it is a witty and well-thought out response. And if nothing else, it shows me I am not alone in hating the machoism of superbowl advertising. Enjoy!

journey to Bethlehem.

Every Wednesday night, I spend an hour and half with 15-20 Jr High aged youth. They are loud, energetic, funny, and so fun to be around. But, as anyone who works with this age group knows, they often make me very tired. And while I know they had fun, I'm not always entirely sure if they connected with God.

As youth group ends, I look around the fellowship hall where we meet and it looks like a tornado has gone through... whatever snack we shared and activities we've done, have somehow exploded into every inch of the space. I sigh, and know as tired as I am, it's going to be at least a half hour of clean up.

The thing about all this is, that despite their energy sapping wildness and the trail of mess that they leave behind, my kids amaze me. The way they love each other, the way they laugh together, and the way they see God, opens up my heart in unexplainable ways. I realize that I have become so "adult" in my spirituality that I forgot that church shouldn't just be deep, it should be fun. That God is never boring or neat, but explosive and imaginative.

But more than any of this, my kids show me the simplicity of loving God. They enter into their relationship with God with such openness and honesty. They love and trust so wholly, but never fear asking questions. One of the simple joys of my Wednesday nights is that when I'm cleaning up the mess, I also get to look at their prayers, pictures and reflections that they leave behind.

Last night one of the activities we did was a journey to Bethlehem. A few students at a time went into a candle lit space where there were several stations for prayer and reflection. At each station there was a short scripture about one of the characters in the Christmas story, and an invitation to imagine what it was like to be that person through some reflective questions. They entered into the story with such authenticity and imagination. Their post-it reflections helped the Christmas story come alive for me in a whole new way. Here's some of what they wrote down:

Imagine you are a wise man: "I would feel weird following a star, and scared. But it would be amazing when I saw Jesus." "I would be so happy."

Imagine you are a Shepherd: "I would be frightened, but curious." "I might be disappointed that it was a baby, but I would be hopeful too." "I would wonder what the heck is going on." "I'd be happy to tell other people about the good news." "I would tell everyone about it."

Imagine you are the angel: "I would be happy and maybe joyful to spread God's word. i would be excited, and feel kind of powerful [because] delivering God's word helps people know about what is happening. I wouldn't be worried that people won't believe me, because it needs to happen and it is joyful to deliver God's word." "I would be scared what people would say about it and afraid of doubt." "I would feel good spreading the word and I would be excited. " "I wouldn't worry about anything because of God's power." "I would be excited to tell people the joyful news but worried to see if they would believe me."

Imagine you are baby Jesus: "It would be scary, but excited. I would feel cold and see cows and birds around me. I'd be happy and thankful to be with my mom. I'd feel proud that God sent me and I would want to grow up and help all people." "I would be happy and excited that God sent me to be the Light of the World." "I would feel vulnerable and comforted." "I would feel small, sad and scared." "I would feel cold from the wind and hear the animals making noises."

Imagine you are Mary: "I would feel hopeful and amazed." "I would be happy." "I would be scared and happy, nervous and joyful." "So happy."

Imagine you are Joseph: "I would be mad and weirded out when Mary got pregnant." "I would be disappointed and angry." "When the angel told me that the baby came from God I would feel awkward." "When Jesus is born I would be happy and excited." "I would be nervous and hopeful."

These simple reflections reminded me that Christmas isn't just an old story, but something that lives in us. It has real, vivid emotions, and expectations and hopes and fears and loss... all of which we still experience in our own lives. And yet with all these mixed emotions, we are still called to journey forward, to worship, to trust, and to share this amazing story with the world.

Another activity we did was this mosiac icon of the Mother Mary and Christ Child made out of advertisements (pictures above). I stole the idea from here - I think it's a great idea if you happen to be looking for a fun and easy art project for a group at your church. Ours doesn't look quite as good or as clear as I'd hope, and my youth got bored with it a little quicker than I'd expected (warning - it takes a long time, especially if Jr High boys are involved). But in the end they were excited about the end result and being able to see it turn into something, and I was happy that they transformed consumerism into something beautiful together.

I hope you are all getting to experience Advent in new ways this year. I love this season... it's such an amazing time to see the world through the eyes of a child: with love, hope, joy and imagination.

opening.

I went to a writing workshop last Saturday. It was taught my the lovely and inspiring Jane Hirshfield. If you aren't familiar with her work, check it out. "This was once a love poem" is a favorite of mine.

The workshop involved developing first lines that don't just open up a poem or essay, but open the possibility of many directions. It reminded me how much I crave to be playful and creative. How my soul longs to pour out images, without summarizing or boiling down or analyzing. Sometimes we just need to let ourselves be creative without purpose, just to see what comes out.

Here's one of the lines that came out of my writing at the workshop:

"A mound of wet clay contains within itself an infinite number of possible becomings, but its beginnings are always the same: dark, sloppy, and of the earth."

sexist much?

Please watch this (especially the part that starts at 1:54) and tell me you share my rage:




An open letter to Mark Driscoll:

I find this offensive on so many levels, I don't know where to begin. The idea that the church is in decline because it is "chicafied" is completely outrageous. Most pastors are men. Most worship services are shaped by men. Blaming it on "femininity" is not only offensive, but illogical. Secondly, being manly has nothing to do with hairy chests, and slaying other men in pools of their own blood. I like how you talk about David as this macho man, but conveniently leave out his passion for music, poetry and dance, and focus only on brashness, brute strength and violence as though that is what made him innovative. We do need innovators in the church. We also need men, just as much as we need women. But having a penis has nothing to do with being innovative. And there are incredibly creative voices (both men and women) who are being stifled in churches everywhere based on assumptions such as the ones you clearly are making about what it means to be manly or to be feminine. As a woman who is called to ordination, innovative worship and ultimately, I believe, church planting, I am so deeply disappointed that you, one of the dominant voices of the Christian church, would be so insensitive to such important gender issues and would make such broad generalizations. We need young innovators in the church, without a doubt, but stereotyping is not the way to do it. I find it difficult to articulate just how angry and disappointed I am that this is the kind of "creative innovation" that is being spoken into the Christian Church. This is good old-fashioned sexism at its worst. Please stop spouting your anti-female rhetoric in Christ's name.

creative prayer.

I came across these ideas on the Rethink Youth Ministry website. I love them because they are so simple, but allow really expressive and physical ways to pray. Some I knew about and have used, but others were new to me. They could be used in worship or small group settings or private prayer... and I think they could translate to some adult groups as well. Man, if I had a youth room, I would do the magnetic poetry prayer wall today. Anyway, these are so good, I wanted to share with my other blogging friends. Enjoy!

Tinfoil prayers - Pass out a sheet of aluminum foil to each person. Invite them to take time in silence to craft the foil into the shape of something they want to offer up in prayer. They could create an object, an initial of a person's name, or even something abstract. When finished, students can choose whether or not to share about their prayer request represented by their foil creations and then all foil prayers are placed in the midst of the group for a closing prayer.

Play-Doh Prayers - Much like the one above, youth are given a lump of Play-Doh and asked to create a shape representing a prayer need. When everyone is ready, join in a circle and have persons, one at a time, place their creation in the center of the group and in some way attach it to the other Play-Doh creations to represent the way our shared prayers become one.

Pipe-Cleaner Prayers - Pass out several multi-colored pipe cleaners to each person and invite them to create a shape that represents a prayer need in their lives. When all are ready, present each prayer creation verbally or in silence and then have the group work as one to attach all the pipe cleaner shapes together.

Photo Prayers - Sometimes youth just can't think what to pray about so this idea uses photos to spur young people to consider the prayer needs in their lives or world. Cut out photos and images from magazines and place them in the center of the group. Invite youth to retrieve an image that connects with them and some need for prayer in their lives. Ask each person to share why the image grabbed their attention and how it speaks to them about a prayer concern.

Candle Prayers - Place a ton of votive candles in your worship space with a larger central candle in their midst. Light the central candle and invite youth in silence to come forward and light a votive from the central candle to represent a prayer for another person in need. Allow this to be an unstructured time so that youth come forward as they feel ready and allow individuals to light as many candles as they like.

Bulletin Board Prayers - Establish a bulletin board or other wall space in your youth room where youth can regularly post photos, news articles, and messages lifting up joys and concerns they want to share with the group.

Magnetic Poetry Prayers - This one is a little more ambitious. Create wall space in your room painted with magnetic paint (yes it exists) and provide an ample supply of magnetic poetrywords for youth to create a wall of creative prayers to share with others. Similarly, paint a section of wall with chalk paint and allow students to graffitti their joys and concerns right on the wall.

Sand Prayers - Set our a plastic container filled with sand. One at a time, invite each person to go to the container and trace in the sand a world or symbol of something for which they seek forgiveness. When they are finished, invite them to pass their hand over what they have drawn, obliterating it as a way of accepting God's forgiveness.

um... creepy?

So, I've always kind of liked this guy's youtube videos. Yeah, he looks kind of creepy, but in a fun, harmless entertaining way. And he lips-sinks animatedly to up beat, old favorite songs. It's like, "oh, silly, creepy old man, look how ridiculous you are! You creep me out a little, but you also make me laugh. How fun!"

But apparently he's a registered sex offender. He's not harmless at all. He's a real live dangerous sex-offending creeper. My heart is sad.

Boo. That's the worst.

but, what do i love when i love my god?

I'll just say it plain: I had a bad day in ministry today. One of those days when the students I work with just didn't engage, when nothing seemed to work, when they didn't want to be there. And because they don't want to be there, I didn't want to be there. I found myself wondering, "what's the point?" Why make them come to something they hate? I've tried re-imagining what youth ministry looks like. I've tried everything I can think of from games, to discussions, to worship, to small groups, to interactive prayer. I've tried to simply be present, to listen, to relate. But today, they looked disinterested and bored. They talked to each other, and rolled their eyes, and wanted to be doing anything else. I crave for them to connect with God, but today I confess that for a moment, I thought, "If they don't want to, there's nothing I can do. I give up.

But when I came home, Kyle was telling me about a passage from Augustine's Confessions that he had been reflecting on, and it reminded me of something beautiful. Instead, of asking, "why don't they care? why don't I feel more respected and appreciated? why do I do this? what is the point?" This amazing passage re-oriented my thoughts, and breathed life into my faith at the moment I needed it most, by asking a question that is bigger than all my negative thinking:

"What do I love when I love my God? Not material beauty of a temporal order; not the brilliance of earthly light, so welcome to our eyes; not the sweet melody of harmony and song; not the fragrance of flowers, perfumes, and spices; not manna or honey; not limbs such as the body delights to embrace. It is not these that I love when I love my God. And yet, when I love him, it is true that I love a light of a certain kind, a voice, a perfume, a food, an embrace; but they are of the kind that I love in my inner self,when it listens to sound that never dies away; when it breathes fragrance that is not borne away on the wind;when it tastes food that is never consumed by the eating;when it clings to an embrace from which it is not severed by fulfillment of desire. This is what I love when I love my God.

But what is my God? I put my question to the earth. It answered, "I am not God, and all things on earth declared the same. I asked the sea and the chasms of the deep and the living things that creep in them, but they answered, "We are not your God. Seek what is above us." I spoke to the winds that blow, and the whole air and all that lives in it replied, "I am not God." I asked the sky, the sun, the moon, and the stars, but they told me. "Neither are we the God whom you seek." I spoke to all the things that are about me, all that can be admitted by the door of the senses, and I said, "Since you are not my God, tell me about him. Tell me something of my God." Clear and loud they answered, "God is he who made us.” I asked these questions simply by gazing at these things, and their beauty was all the answer they gave…

I know that my soul is the better part of me, because it animates the whole of my body. It gives life, and this is something that no body can give no another body. But God is even more. God is the Life of the life of my soul."

So, today I am reminded of the Life, who gives life to my soul. The one whose embrace is never severed. The one who I taste, see, and feel in the deepest unexplainable ways. The one who is expressed in all the beauty that springs out of creation, but is more than the sum of all created things and beings. So, the question of why I do ministry has a simple answer: because I love my God, and the question of who I love when I love God is one I want to spend my life contemplating.

The question of who we love when we love God, is why we try to find God's presence in worship, why we talk about our faith, why we argue about theology, why we struggle to re-imagine the church in a way that is relevant. Today, I will not throw in the towel. Today, I will pray that the God I love will be present in ways I cannot begin to imagine, and that I, and every student I work with, will come to know the one we love in a deeper way.